Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
Randomize
