I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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