masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Randomize
