Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
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