He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
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