i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
We have started to decorate penises.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
Randomize
