My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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