i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize
