question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
Such a big mess for such a small penis
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
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