Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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