i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
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