How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
Randomize
