he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
Randomize
