Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
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