Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
As shirtless as possible
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
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