I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
