suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
Randomize