I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
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