i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
Houston, we have a blender
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
Randomize
