I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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