Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
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