im gay
i know
yea but for you.
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize