i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize
