i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
operation have a gay friend backfired
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
Randomize
