You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
Randomize
