in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
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