when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
I love you. Go after that dick
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
Randomize
