so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
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