Whats the count minus fat chicks?
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
