I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
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