Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
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