ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
What drink are we having for lunch?
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Randomize
