Threw my underwear in my purse as I was running away after sex last night, went to pick up my birth control prescription this morning, took out my wallet and accidentally flung my sweet thong onto the counter in front of the cashier. Think that was the universes way of telling me I am a whore.
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
Randomize
