did you get engaged???
i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
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