I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
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