Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
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