So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
My legs feel like baby dolphins
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
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