Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
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