No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
Randomize
