i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
Randomize
