i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
You asked me to text you at 11 and remind you that he's 33. It's 11:20. He's 33.
you're too late. he has eggnog and whiskey and all seven seasons of buffy. I shan't be coming home tonight
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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