I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
Randomize
