I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
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