My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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