My kitchen smells like failed pina coladas.
you're like a bully in the Christmas story
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
Randomize
