He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
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