Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
Randomize
