Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
Randomize
