There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
