I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
