Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
Randomize
