Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Randomize
