I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
