i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
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