Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
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