No, you can still breathe under the balls.
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
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