You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
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