That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
Randomize