Tell her she can't have a vagina
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
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